A little bit about my background:
In April 2016 I hit "rock bottom". After feeling responsible for the end of a former relationship due to jealousy and ROCD, I was lost, confused, and had no idea who I was. I fell into a deep and dark depression. This event forced me to realize that I had severe insecurities and self-doubt. And, as a cherry on top, earlier that year I had come out to my parents as being pansexual - so, as you can imagine, the religious guilt, suicidal thoughts, daily panic attacks, confusion, and anger that I had built up inside of me completely knocked me off my axis. In my eyes, I was no longer "perfect", which was something I had been striving for since elementary school. I wanted to be the "perfect daughter" and get my mom's approval of me. Everything I did was attention seeking to get that approval.
To cope with my anxiety and depression, I gave the middle finger to anyone or anything that made me feel "controlled". I dyed my hair ash platinum, got piercings, tattoos, moved to Brooklyn, got a new job, made new friends, and embraced my inner hippie. I turned to ideas, practices, mantras, self-help books, friends, and clothes that made me feel FREE. That's all I had been craving...to feel free from the dark thoughts that consumed me every day.
Another coping mechanism for me has been writing. It's been my escape from reality. I picked up a journal at age 10 and haven't stopped writing since. The purpose of this blog is to share my story, to give you hope, to help you feel accepted, and to welcome you into your new FOUND FAMILY. Consider this blog to be your resource center: a place where you can learn more about yourself, a place where you can discover new things, a place where you can connect with others who are going through the same things you're going through, and a place that will equip you with the tools to overcome the demons in your mind.
You are stronger than your thoughts.
We overcome them. TOGETHER.
In April 2016 I hit "rock bottom". After feeling responsible for the end of a former relationship due to jealousy and ROCD, I was lost, confused, and had no idea who I was. I fell into a deep and dark depression. This event forced me to realize that I had severe insecurities and self-doubt. And, as a cherry on top, earlier that year I had come out to my parents as being pansexual - so, as you can imagine, the religious guilt, suicidal thoughts, daily panic attacks, confusion, and anger that I had built up inside of me completely knocked me off my axis. In my eyes, I was no longer "perfect", which was something I had been striving for since elementary school. I wanted to be the "perfect daughter" and get my mom's approval of me. Everything I did was attention seeking to get that approval.
To cope with my anxiety and depression, I gave the middle finger to anyone or anything that made me feel "controlled". I dyed my hair ash platinum, got piercings, tattoos, moved to Brooklyn, got a new job, made new friends, and embraced my inner hippie. I turned to ideas, practices, mantras, self-help books, friends, and clothes that made me feel FREE. That's all I had been craving...to feel free from the dark thoughts that consumed me every day.
Another coping mechanism for me has been writing. It's been my escape from reality. I picked up a journal at age 10 and haven't stopped writing since. The purpose of this blog is to share my story, to give you hope, to help you feel accepted, and to welcome you into your new FOUND FAMILY. Consider this blog to be your resource center: a place where you can learn more about yourself, a place where you can discover new things, a place where you can connect with others who are going through the same things you're going through, and a place that will equip you with the tools to overcome the demons in your mind.
You are stronger than your thoughts.
We overcome them. TOGETHER.